92+ Stupid Quotes

These best stupid quotes will change how you see the world and will really get you thinking in a way you may not have thought about before.

Best Stupid Quotes

I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy. Jerry Seinfeld

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap. Napoleon Bonaparte

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin

There is no stupid work, there are only stupid people. French Proverb

Stupid people will mistake your confidence for arrogance. Habeeb Akande

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college. P. J. O’Rourke

I disagree but I respect your right to be stupid. Anonymous

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. A. A. Milne

Run for your life! There are stupid people everywhere.

If people did not sometimes do silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done. Ludwig Wittgenstein

That’s why New York is so great, though. Everyone you care about can despise you and you can still find a bagel so good, nothing else matters. Who needs love when you’ve got lox? They both stink, but only one tastes good. Midge Maisel

Stan Fields: Describe your perfect date.

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If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer. Ace Ventura

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts. Lt. Frank Drebin

At every party there are two kinds of people those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. Ann Landers

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police. Joan Rivers

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go. Anonymous

Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. Margaret Atwood

If you don’t understand my silence how will you understand my words? Anonymous

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. Phyllis Diller

The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. Clairee Belcher

Discover our hand-picked selection of meaningful fake friends quotes that are guaranteed to lift you up.

Funny Stupid Quotes

Lucy: There’s just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.

Most of us would be upset if we were accused of being ‘silly.’ But the word ‘silly’ comes from the old English word ‘Selig,’ and its literal definition is ‘to be blessed, happy, healthy and prosperous.’ Zig Ziglar

Till the point someone’s stupidity is harmless, it is bearable. But sometimes stupid acts and acts of foolishness can be dangerous.

Wedding guest: It should be perfectly obvious I’m neither! Four Weddings and a Funeral

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. Anonymous

My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush. Bobby Boucher

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out? Will Rogers

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

The problem with educating stupid people was that they didn’t know they were stupid. The same went for curing crazy people. Chuck Palahniuk

I didn’t like the idea of being foolish, but I learned pretty soon that it was essential to fail and be foolish. Daniel Day-Lewis

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. Frank Zappa

Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last  minutes. It lasts forever.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent full of doubt. Bertrand Russell

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity. Anonymous

Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. Martin Luther King Jr

I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Chandler

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.

You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity. Robert A. Heinlein

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. Elbert Hubbard

A stupid man-the most dangerous animal of all. Ariana Franklin

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do. Anonymous

I can only please one person a day. today isn’t your day. tomorrow doesn’t look good either. Anonymous

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Euripides, The Bacchae

Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backwards.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it. Anonymous

No matter what’s going on in your life right now, beautiful life is unpredictable quotes can help you reach your potential each day.

Hilarious Stupid Quotes

When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway. Erma Bombeck

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. Graham Norton

Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas. Lessons from the Minivan

Try to manage your anger since people can’t manage their stupidity. Anonymous

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Alan Dundes

Life is hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid. Michael Crichton

Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods, and you’ve lost, and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.

I’ll take crazy over stupid any day. Joss Whedon

There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test. Dowager Countess Violet Crawley

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? Laurence J. Peter

Sometimes I listen to the stranger’s conversation and mentally give my opinion. Anonymous

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Stupidity never takes a day off. Anonymous

When a stupid man is doing something, he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. George Bernard Shaw

If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

I would prefer an intelligent hell to a stupid paradise.

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out. Anonymous

Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it’s naturally. Shaquille O’Neal

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see. Anonymous

Beauty fades, dumb is forever. Judge Judy Sheindlin, Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever

I’m not insane. My mother had me tested. Sheldon Cooper

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back. Jimmy Kimmel

It costs to be stupid. The stupider you are, the more it costs. Sherrill Brown

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Anonymous

As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Sir Norman Wisdom

There is no sin except stupidity. Oscar Wilde

If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised. Clark Griswold

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.

I started the week with a big box of patience. The box is empty now. Anonymous

If pessimism is despair, optimism is cowardice and stupidity. Is there any need to choose between them? Francis Parker Yockey

Until you’re ready to look foolish, you’ll never have the possibility of being great. Cher

We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people. Anonymous

Stupidity has a price and it always gets paid. Dan Simmons

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society. Mark Twain

Stupidity and idiocy has no bounds. It exists everywhere, is all countries and places. People sometimes find stupidity and lack of intelligence as a by product of their ignorance.

I fear one day I’ll meet God; he’ll sneeze and I won’t know what to say. Anonymous

When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don’t have to shake hands. Larry

The dumbest people I know are those who Know It All. Malcom Forbes

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. Albert Einstein

We are in danger of destroying ourselves by our greed and stupidity. We cannot remain looking inwards at ourselves on a small and increasingly polluted and overcrowded planet. Stephen Hawking

These inspirational dream catcher quotes can provide guidance, motivation, and insight.